I'm always just carrying a Tupperware cup, ever since my mom went to a Tupperware party and got 'em. I've left them strewn all over the U.S. and Europe. I drink iced tea out of them.

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

Everybody thinks I'm the weirdo in the family.

Everything I say is 95% truthful.

Nap time would become a national pastime. A man needs his beauty rest!

You can't spell squirrel without si, and that's me.