One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!

I don’t know any redneck that’s not into fun. That’s their middle name: Red-Fun-Neck.

Never insult a mans beard, you either get thunder or lightning

Everybody thinks I'm the weirdo in the family.

Hey, I'm like Aretha Franklin, I don't get no R -S -P -E -C -T around here!

First it's pretty tires. Next it's pretty guns. Then the next thing you know, you're shaving your beard and wearing capri pants.

One time, hey, in high school this girl told me, hey, its not you, its me.. Ofcourse its you, you dang HEFFER!