Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation.

(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.