I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart.
Stephen ColbertInternet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
Stephen ColbertThere hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).
Stephen Colbert