Warmth is to sun, as truth is to me.

I'm just very interested in what my guests have to say. You have to be vigilant to stay ignorant.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.

But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.