If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.

News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in reality. And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!

You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.