You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

And my daughter said, 'Why are you yelling at us?' and I said, 'I'm trying to discipline you!' And then she looked up at me with her tear-stained eyes and said, 'This is how you teach children, by making them cry.' And it was such a clenching reminder - she won not only the argument, but she won life with that statement. I just burst out laughing, and I think they were so surprised that I burst out laughing, that they did too.

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.