You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction.

Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.

Yesterday in a 25 to 24 vote, Republicans welcomed back Lott back into their leadership and named him minority whip. That is great for Trent. They say minority whip is a stepping stone to Grand Wizard.

Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

I love the earth. If you ask me it's the greatest planet in the world.

‎You cannot correct an old person every time they say something offensive. You would never make it through Thanksgiving dinner!