It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.

No one has any idea what's going to happen. Not even Elon Musk. That's why he's building those rockets. He wants a 'Plan B' on another world.

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy.

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

That’s why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can’t channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and over until they finally cut to the gravy shot.

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.