It used to be, everyone was entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts. But that's not the case anymore. Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything.

If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.

Throughout human history, countries rise and fall. But not America-we continue to rise and rise, like dough, until Jesus bakes us in the fiery Afterscape of the Rapture.

I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable "on notice"? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

I'm impervious to logic.