The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.

What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?

Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

You have to do your First Penance before your First Holy Communion. You're really young. What do you know? You've got nothing to confess. All I knew was that I was an evil human whose sins caused the death of our Lord.

The interesting thing about fake news and fake media is that it's a heresy against reality. Again, as a Catholic, I was taught that the greatest sin was heresy. Because not only are you a sinner, you are proselytizing and inviting other people into your sinful state through your heresy. You're a recruiter for your own fallen state. Donald Trump is a heretic against reality. Basically, he's lying for sport. He's inviting people into his heresy that there is no objective reality.