Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.

Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant.

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you. You know what I mean? I’ve always liked that phrase “He was visited by grief,” because that’s really what it is. Grief is its own thing. It’s not like it’s in me and I’m going to deal with it. It’s a thing, and you have to be okay with its presence. If you try to ignore it, it will be like a wolf at your door.

Cain understands domestic issues because he had experience selling pizza; and he understands international issues because pizza is Italian.

Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

You have to do your First Penance before your First Holy Communion. You're really young. What do you know? You've got nothing to confess. All I knew was that I was an evil human whose sins caused the death of our Lord.

Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.