I'm impervious to logic.

If we don't cut expensive things like Head Start, child nutrition programs, and teachers, what sort of future are we leaving for our children?

The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it "The No Fact Zone.

Oh sure, its fine when a monkey does it. But when I throw barrels at an Italian plumber, they call it a hate crime!

Facts matter not at all. Perception is everything. It's certainty.

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.