Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.

I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.

Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World. In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.

In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages ... so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons, and American for conversation.

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.