Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged King of England" in order to avoid libel suits.

A silk dress in four sections, and shoes with high heels that would have broken the heart of John Calvin.

Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.

The English are terribly lazy about fighting. They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.