Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.

Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.

There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."

Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.