All our yesterdays, it is true, have only lighted fools the way to dusty death. But we need at least the dates of the yesterdays and the list of the fools.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

The sorrows and disasters of Europe always brought fortune to America.

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.