Chess is one long regret.

Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.

I am what is called a professor emeritus—from the Latin e, 'out,' and meritus, 'so he ought to be.

About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything