Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five. Sensible people never go to lectures at all. But the people who do go to a lecture and who get tired of it, presently hold it as a sort of grudge against the lecturer personally. In reality his sufferings are worse than theirs.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!

I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.

I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always exaggerate them.