I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.

American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.

Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.

Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.