Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down, and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's hard.

About the only good thing you can say about old age is, it's better than being dead!

On the same bill and on the same side of it there should not be two charges for the same thing

American politicians do anything for money... English politicians take the money and won't do anything.

When actors begin to think, it's time for a change. They are not fitted for it.

Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.

It's a lie, but Heaven will forgive you for it.