How many times does a man have to shave before his chin gets the message?

Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it.

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails

Satire works in a bunch of specific ways, like a very precisely-geared bomb. It's a bit like something that looks harmless, and you swallow it, but once it's inside you it's too late, and it triggers, blowing up. And it's your specific inner beliefs and faulty arguments that trigger a satire bomb. If your arguments work, the bomb doesn't trigger, it doesn't need to.

One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of God's existence.

Scientists used to do an experiment whereby a dog's repeated reward for performing a task was unaccountably replaced by punishment. The dog, knowing it would be penalized for doing well or doing badly, would become melancholic and inactive. This and other unforeseeable results were funded by taxing up to sixty percent of people's earnings. People became strangely melancholic and inactive

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once