Halle Berry is here, whose win last year broke down barriers for unbelievably hot women.

I opened the show with this line: "I have decided to give the greatest performance of my life! Oh, wait, sorry, that's tomorrow night.

It's not tipping I believe in. It's overtipping.

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, 'This is art, and you can't do it.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.

Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.