Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties.

His view of the world is one that keeps his blood pressure low, sweeping the cholesterol from his relaxed, freeway-sized arteries. Everyone knows he is going to live till age ninety, although the question that goes begging is, “for what?

Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

There's a lot of thought in art. People get to talk about important things. There's a lot of sex, you know, in art. There's a lot of naked women and men, and there's intrigue, there's fakery. It's a real microcosm of the larger world.

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.