Knowledge of means without knowledge of ends is animal training.

I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.

After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'

...the divided world of Aspen, where locals with a sense of entitlement were pitted against developers with a sense of condominiums.

I couldn't see his face, because the light came in from behind him and he was in shadow, and he said, "I am Picasso." And I said, "Well, so what?

I never touched a gun in my life. That and that alone forever doomed me to middle management.

I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.