I just gave my cat a bath. Now how do I get all this fur off my tounge?

The course was more plodding than heroic: I did not strive valiantly against doubters but took incremental steps studded with a few intuitive leaps.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

If I screw up raising my kids, nothing I achieve will matter much.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it's going to work. And then you get the response. It's great when it's good.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

Nothing I do is done by popular demand.