What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.

I was very vulnerable to criticism for many years. I could read a bad review and remember it my whole life.

I love doing my surreal sing-along that had words that no one could follow.

You cannot make your opportunities concur with the opportunities of people whose incomes are ten times greater than yours.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.