What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

You have to get comfortable [with your work], you really have to know what you're doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.

I never had a movie that I wanted to do turned down in my whole life. I always write the script first so it speaks for itself.

You can't really conduct your life by one or two phrases.

I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.

The overhead lights reflect in the glass countertop and mingle in the gray and black of the gloves, resulting in a mother-of-pearl swirl that sometimes sends Mirabelle into a shallow hypnotic dream.

In talking to girls I could never remember the right sequence of things to say. I'd meet a girl and say, Hi, was it good for you too? If a girl spent the night, I'd wake up in the morning and then try to get her drunk.