I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

Always...no wait...never.

I ignored my stand-up career for twenty-five years, but now, having finished this memoir, I view this time with surprising warmth. One can have, it turns out, an affection for the war years.

Hello. I'm hello, and I'd like to say myself.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it's going to work. And then you get the response. It's great when it's good.