Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

Between the marriages, I shagged my way round television studios like a mechanical digger.

If you take most men aside when their wives are pregnant, most men are pretty frightened and worried and faintly disgusted by the whole experience.

Reinette: One may tolerate a world of demons for the sake of an angel.

Demons run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun when a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies. Night will fall and the dark will rise when a good man goes to war. Demons run but count the cost; the battle's won but the child is lost.

I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it - I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.

There's one thing you don't put in a trap, if you're smart, if you value your continued existance, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there is one thing you never ever put in a trap. And what would that be sir? Me