As we all know, it is the proper duty of every British subject to come to the aid of the TARDIS.

You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world!

Between the marriages, I shagged my way round television studios like a mechanical digger.

Like most writers, I write about what has happened to me as that involves the minimum amount of research.

I'll be a story in your head. That's okay. We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? 'Cause it was, you know. It was the best. The daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away. Did I ever tell you that I stole it? Well I borrowed it. I was always going to take it back.

Peter Capaldi, will always be Doctor Who. You retain the title forever. Ask your predecessors, they all think they're the real one. I've had Sunday lunch with Peter Davidson and David Tennant and they're eyeing each other like, 'It's me!

You'll go out of business if you think people are stupid.