[Sigmund Freud] just made people feel so neurotic about their lives. I mean, if you dreamt about a lampshade, it meant you wanted to be whipped by the local vicar or something.

I have seen one or two psychiatrists. They just sit and nod and doodle.

I don't want to go on much longer, really. I think that would suggest a lack of imagination. A certain lack of dignity also.

Age gives you a great sense of proportion. You can be very hard on yourself when you're younger but now I just think 'well everybody's absolutely mad and I'm doing quite well'.

Whoever says the Smiths have split shall be severely spanked by me with a wet plimsoll.

One can have great concern for the people of Ethiopia, but it's another thing to inflict daily torture on the people of England.

All human activity is fruitless when pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing, too. If not, I will have to die.