Whoever says the Smiths have split shall be severely spanked by me with a wet plimsoll.

Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens.

He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.

Whenever I go past McDonalds I get very, very angry.

The monarchy is foremost a business, and it's important to them that the British public continue to finance the excessive luxurious lifestyles of the now quite enormous, wasteful and useless 'royal' family.

I never imagined I'd be a solo artist. And now I couldn't imagine being part of a group.

I know by now you think I should have straightened myself out - Thank you, drop dead!