Robert Smith is a whingebag.

Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?

You made me feel less alone; you made me feel not quite so deformed, uninformed and hunchbacked.

Age gives you a great sense of proportion. You can be very hard on yourself when you're younger but now I just think 'well everybody's absolutely mad and I'm doing quite well'.

I once bought a Manchester United hat, which I think was 12 shillings, and somebody ran up behind me and pulled it off and just ran ahead. I thought, 'It's a very cruel world, I'm not prepared for this'. And I decided to get my revenge on society.

I can get incredibly erotic about blotting paper.

I avoid people who I actually like. I suppose that’s a phobia but also a habit.