Unfortunately, I am not homosexual... In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course, not many.

Bring me the head of Elton John . . . which is one instance in which meat would not be murder, if it were served on a plate.

I don't mind if you forget me. Having learned my lesson, I never left an impression on anyone.

You have to, at least from a distance, look as if you know what you're doing, and I can manage that.

It's the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people.

I think we were all initially swept along with the Obama win, but he's proven to be simply a set of teeth, and useless in every other regard.

All human activity is fruitless when pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing, too. If not, I will have to die.