It's no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots.

I am from the working class. I am now what I was then. No amount of balsamic vinegar and Prada handbags could make me forget what it was like to be poor.

Barry Kent's father looks like a big ape and has got more hair on the back of his hands than my father has got on his entire head.

I married two weeks after my 18th birthday, far too young, and by the time I was 23 I was a single mother of three small children, Sean, Daniel and Victoria, living in a prefab house.

I asked Mr. Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr. Vann said that you don't need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.

I don't know why women are so mad about flowers. Personally, they leave me cold. I prefer trees.

The monarchy is finished. It was finished a while ago, but they're still making the corpses dance.