Most social problems could be helped or prevented if people had more money and practical advice.

Yes, I hate it when people call me a 'national treasure'. It takes away your bite and makes you feel like a harmless old golden Labrador.

Barry Kent's father looks like a big ape and has got more hair on the back of his hands than my father has got on his entire head.

I'd love a day devoid of responsibilities. I've often thought about going to a hotel just to have a day away from everything.

Every time I start a new piece of work, I spend a long while under the duvet thinking I can't do it.

It's no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots.

I'm spectacularly disorganised. I wrote my latest book in seven different notebooks scattered throughout my house.