Barry Kent's father looks like a big ape and has got more hair on the back of his hands than my father has got on his entire head.

Sometimes I rant, in a comical way, about how the gods give with one hand and take with the other.

She liked people. Me, I can take them or leave them, but mostly leave them.

Now I know I am an intellectual. I saw Malcolm Muggeridge on the television last night, and I understood nearly every word. It all adds up. A bad home, poor diet, not liking punk. I think I will join the library and see what happens.

Love is the only thing that keeps me sane.

My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade.

I asked Mr. Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr. Vann said that you don't need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.