I have decided to be a poet. My father said there isn't a suitable career structure for poets and no pensions and other boring things, but I am quite decided.

I think it's essential for comic writers to have a hate figure, a despot, a regime to react against, and I think Thatcher was perfect for me, I loathed everything she stood for.

I'd love a day devoid of responsibilities. I've often thought about going to a hotel just to have a day away from everything.

Barry Kent's father looks like a big ape and has got more hair on the back of his hands than my father has got on his entire head.

Sometimes I rant, in a comical way, about how the gods give with one hand and take with the other.

Most social problems could be helped or prevented if people had more money and practical advice.

I don't know why women are so mad about flowers. Personally, they leave me cold. I prefer trees.