I have decided to be a poet. My father said there isn't a suitable career structure for poets and no pensions and other boring things, but I am quite decided.

Love is the only thing that keeps me sane.

My skin is dead good. I think it must be a combination of being in love and Lucozade.

I am from the working class. I am now what I was then. No amount of balsamic vinegar and Prada handbags could make me forget what it was like to be poor.

Sometimes I rant, in a comical way, about how the gods give with one hand and take with the other.

I don't know why women are so mad about flowers. Personally, they leave me cold. I prefer trees.

Yes, I hate it when people call me a 'national treasure'. It takes away your bite and makes you feel like a harmless old golden Labrador.