There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.

I'm spectacularly disorganised. I wrote my latest book in seven different notebooks scattered throughout my house.

Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?

I never imagined when I began writing in the early 1960s I'd become professional and my life would be transformed.

Will you lie to me and promise to read them? Books need to be read. The pages need to be turned.

It's no surprise to me that intellectuals commit suicide, go mad or die from drink. We feel things more than other people. We know the world is rotten and that chins are ruined by spots.

Most social problems could be helped or prevented if people had more money and practical advice.