There's only one thing more boring than listening to other people's dreams, and that's listening to their problems.

Most social problems could be helped or prevented if people had more money and practical advice.

I'm spectacularly disorganised. I wrote my latest book in seven different notebooks scattered throughout my house.

Love is the only thing that keeps me sane.

Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many pepole got divorced nowadays. HE had been unhappilly married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?

I asked Mr. Vann which O levels you need to write situation comedy for television. Mr. Vann said that you don't need qualifications at all, you just need to be a moron.

I'd love a day devoid of responsibilities. I've often thought about going to a hotel just to have a day away from everything.