When I'm in the water I feel as though nothing bad has happened. I think about the fish, how they don't know what's going on. Their world is unchanged. Actually it's probably better now to be a tuna or a sardine or a salmon. Less chance of ending up as somebody's lunch.

I'm the one not caring. I'm the one pretending the Earth isn't shattering all around me because I don't want it to be. I don't want to know there was an earthquake in Missouri. I don't want to know the Midwest can die, also, that what's going on isn't just tides and tsunamis. I don't want to have any more to be afraid of. I didn't start this diary for it to be a record of death.

But I don't want to have to stop feeling. I really think I'd rather die than stop feeling.

Back in the time when life was easy, the Internet would have told me what I needed to know. The great thing about the Internet was it didn't care why you were asking.

Life catches you by surprise. It always does. But there's good mixed in with the bad. It's there. You just have to recognize it.

Lisa's baby was due about now. I've decided she had it and it was a girl. I've named her Rachel.

What about desserts?" I asked. "If the world comes to an end, I'm going to want cookies.