Don't stop believing in miracles.

I wonder if I'll ever have to decide which is worse, life as we're living or no life at all.

The electricity came on for the second time today wile we were eating. This may be a fool's paradise, but it's a paradise nonetheless.

He taught me to trust in tomorrow.

Because if I let myself feel the pain and the anger, I think it might kill me. Or I might kill someone else. I know it's wrong to feel that way about God and I know its's wrong to not feel anything. I hate it. I don't hate God. I hate not loving Him.

Lisa's baby was due about now. I've decided she had it and it was a girl. I've named her Rachel.

But today when I am 17 and warm and well fed, I'm keeping this journal for myself so I can always remember life as we knew it, life as we know it, for a time when I am no longer in the sunroom.