Lisa's baby was due about now. I've decided she had it and it was a girl. I've named her Rachel.

But I don't want to have to stop feeling. I really think I'd rather die than stop feeling.

I thought about the earth then, really thought about it, the tsunami's and earthquakes and volcanoes, all the horrors I haven't witnessed but have changed my life, the lives of everyone I know, all the people I'll never know. I thought about life without the sun, the moon, stars, without flowers and warm days in May. I thought about a year ago and all the good things I'd taken for granted and all the unbearable things that had replaced those simple blessings. And even though I hated the thought of crying in from of Syl, tears streamed down my face.

It wouldn't be New Year's without a resolution. I've resolved to take a moment every day for the rest of my life to appreciate what I have.

The last living boy in America drops into my bedroom only he wants to be a monk. I think that pretty much sums up my life.

Matt looked up kids from his high school class. Only three were listed as dead, but a bunch were listed as missing/presumed dead. As a test, he looked us up, but none of our names were on any of the lists. And that's how we know we're alive this Memorial Day.

What about desserts?" I asked. "If the world comes to an end, I'm going to want cookies.