Even the rats are drowning,' Alex said. Nah,' Kevin said. 'They've been taking swimming lessons at the Y.

Life catches you by surprise. It always does. But there's good mixed in with the bad. It's there. You just have to recognize it.

We may not have a future, but you can't deny we have a past.

I thought about how unlikely it was I would ever meet any guy,fall in love, get married, have babies. Especially since I was going to spend the rest of my life in the cellar, where, in the not too distant future, I'd turn into a toadstool. I hoped I'd be the poisonous variety.

One of the more gratifying things about guilt is that it makes us feel important.

They say asteroids hit the moon pretty often, which is how the moon gets its crater, but this one is going to be the biggest asteroid ever to hit it and on a clear night you should be able to see the impact when it happens, maybe even with the naked eye but certainly with binoculars. They made it sound pretty dramatic, but I still don't think it's worth three homework assignments.

Back in the time when life was easy, the Internet would have told me what I needed to know. The great thing about the Internet was it didn't care why you were asking.