The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

I have three phobias ...: I hate going to bed, get up and hate hate being alone.

Don't think this has taught me a lesson !