If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.

If you know your Bible and your Shakespeare and can shoot craps, you have a liberal education.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.

Working on television is like being shot out of a cannon. They cram you all up with rehearsals, then someone lights a fuse and - .BANG! - there you are in someone's living room.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.