If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.

My progress reminded me of the horses in The Whip. They raced at the limit of their speed directly toward the audience. But they raced on a treadmill which canceled out their progress.

Cocaine isn't habit forming. I should know - I've been using it for years.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.