If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.

Too many of our countrymen rejoice in stupidity, look upon ignorance as a badge of honor. They condemn everything they don't understand.

They aren't making mirrors like they use to.

I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

In the theater lying is looked upon as an occupational disease.

In my lifetime I've been to bed with men, women, and odd pieces of furniture.