In the theater lying is looked upon as an occupational disease.

For acting, darlings, is the world's most perilous trade. Compared with actors, steeple jacks and deep-sea divers lead snug and placid lives.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

Working on television is like being shot out of a cannon. They cram you all up with rehearsals, then someone lights a fuse and - .BANG! - there you are in someone's living room.

[On being asked in her later years if she were Tallulah:] I'm what's left of her, dahling.