It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

They say it's the good girls who keep diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me, I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember even if I don't write it down.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.