It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

Working on television is like being shot out of a cannon. They cram you all up with rehearsals, then someone lights a fuse and - .BANG! - there you are in someone's living room.

Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.

Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.

I'm not at my best when I moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.