I detest acting because it is sheer drudgery.

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

I'm not at my best when I moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.

No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.