I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.

Of course cocaine is not adictive, darling. I should know, I've been doing it for years.

Don't be taken in by the guff that critics are killing the theater. Commonly they sin on the side of enthusiasm. Too often they give their blessing to trash.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.