I have enemies I've never met - that's fame.

All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, 'I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.'

Don't be taken in by the guff that critics are killing the theater. Commonly they sin on the side of enthusiasm. Too often they give their blessing to trash.

If I were well behaved, I'd die of boredom.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.