I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

I think the Republican party should be placed in drydock and have the barnacles scraped off its bottom.

It's unlikely I'll ever submit to a psychiatrist's couch. I don't want some stranger prowling around through my psyche, monkeying with my id. I don't need an analyst to tell me that I have never had any sense of security. Who has?

Of course cocaine is not adictive, darling. I should know, I've been doing it for years.

If you know your Bible and your Shakespeare and can shoot craps, you have a liberal education.

I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.

I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity.