I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.

Say anything about me, darling, as long as it isn't boring.

Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.

Don't think this has taught me a lesson !