I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

My progress reminded me of the horses in The Whip. They raced at the limit of their speed directly toward the audience. But they raced on a treadmill which canceled out their progress.

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it.

I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

Do you know what my ambition is in life? To be without ambition. As far back as I can remember I've been absolutely hag-ridden. I'd like to attain the state of mind that the Indians call Nirvana. That, for me, would happen if I were free of ambition.

(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.