I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.

There is less in this than meets the eye.

Going down on a woman gives me a stiff neck, going down on a man gives me lockjaw and conventional sex gives me claustrophobia.

[To the critic who wrote a negative review:] I am sitting in the smallest room of the house. Your review is before me. Soon it will be behind me.

It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman.

Bette [Davis] and I are good friends. There's nothing I wouldn't say to her face - both of them.

Fill what is empty, empty what is full, and scratch where it itches.