I tell you what I won't put up with. You chose how to behave.
All writers believe in the magic of books; Jim Hines has created a system where that magic becomes real, usable, and very definitely not always safe.
What do they do for a village idiot when you're here?
Bards were terrible at keeping secrets. They insisted on putting them to music.
Large men in black plate mail with red cloaks and plumes don't sneak worth a damn.
Most people don't care who's in charge as long as someone is.