Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.

When someone was hitting me, or like sexually molesting me, it just seemed normal to continue to do that to myself.

I was punished for blowing the whistle on my father's lifestyle.

As Peter Bogdanovich would say of Paper Moon: Ryan's wonderful in it, and he sat there and watched the kid steal the picture.

The more love I craved, the more distant and abusive he grew. The role I longed to play was never written into Ryan's script: daughter.

Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.

Things get so sloppy when you're under the influence.