Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.

I remained Ryan's companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens.

Certain struggles never end.

I think all of us feel like we're a bit on show, all the time.

I've stood my ground in life, alone, even against overwhelming forces with the might and money to crush me.

When someone was hitting me, or like sexually molesting me, it just seemed normal to continue to do that to myself.

My children forgave me at a time when I could barely forgive myself.